All new, faded for you!

We love you, Dragon Age, warts and all.

** DA:I spoilers below**

The lore alone makes this an ideal RPG for two lovers of all things tabletop. But, I think we can all be honest with ourselves here...if Corypheus had a brain underneath all that putrid Darkspawn-y face flesh, he could have ended the Inquisition with the power of distraction alone.

Think about it: How often did you get to the end of a major set piece like finding Warden Stroud in Crestwood, and he says "I'll see you in the Western Approach, like, tomorrow, and we'll get this mystery solved. Like, that's for sure the next thing on the docket, right Inquisitor?" You agree. And you mean it with all your heart. Grab your chaps and spurs, Iron Bull, we're goin' rogue in the wild wild wes-Oh! Look! There's 50 new things on the war table to click on! And Solas's Fade-girlfriend is super captured now. And Cassandra really needs the next chapter of her favorite romance novel. Cole wants to be where the people are. He wants to see, wants to see 'em dancin'! CRAAAAAAAFTIIIIIIIIING!!!

Isn't there a war on, people?!

To be fair, we're not the only ones shouting this from the battlements of Skyhold. Commander Cullen, everyone's favorite baggage-laden Ken doll (or Blaine doll if you grew up with the edgier Generation Girl lineup) and the beleaguered voice of the game's overworked writing staff, would much rather the Inquisition stay on task and save the Maker-damned world.

But we never listen. We know this is all a waste of time. We know the plot is the most fun. Must. Stop. Collecting. Rashvine. WHY DO I EVEN NEED THIS. OH WELL, IT'S ONLY THE REST OF MY LIFE!

Just let Solas burn it all down. I'm willing to bet Thedas was much less of an endless, Skinner box, collect-a-thon when magic flowed as easily as breathing or whatever.

Anyway, happy Wednesday.

May the Dread Wolf take you (cause he's the best romance option anyway)

Love u,