Happy Wednesday! And condolences on the end-of-Halloween blues. We're feeling the pain here too.
This week's comic is about one of my favorite game series. I was definitely a late arrival (which can be said about me and all video games that aren't The Sims and Rollercoaster Tycoon). My first sojourn into the Fire Emblem series began Christmas 2013 when Adam showed me his copy of Fire Emblem Awakening. I fell in love right away (hard not to when Matt Mercer's Prince Chrom is waking you up from your slumber in a sunny, idyllic field and birds are singing Strange Magic and all. Maybe that last part was just me.)
I had never thought I'd enjoy a tactics game (the closest I'd come was Pokemon. I know. Still a baby), but I was immediately taken with it. It's like chess + soap opera melodrama + eugenics (Awakening popularized that particularly weird feature). Now you're not just fighting with your army. You're BREEDING the future army! Yes, it's weird. And it got weirder in Fire Emblem Fates...like face-pettingly weird.
Speaking of Fire Emblem Fates, this little comic represents one of the most grumble-worthy parts in any play through. You see, there's always that one orphan. Their village got overrun by brigands or monsters or plague or an EDM festival, and it's up to you to adopt the last orphan left alive and painstakingly raise them from LEVEL ONE into a god-tier super soldier or paladin. Yes, that's right. They start at level one. They have no skills and no equipment. For most of the game they'll be big, dumb liabilities. But now you've invested in them. It's taken hours to make them semi competent. And you know how you do that?
The orphan has to land the killing blow. Oh, sure, they could just do some chip damage here and there and gain some moderate experience, right? WRONG. SO wrong. Because the enemies will try to hit back. And they will hit every time for, like, 19x2 damage, and your little orphan has the black lung so she has to muddle through with about 11 hit points,
So jimmy-leg knees a-knockin, Little Orphan Annie patiently waits her turn while the ninjas and the mages, and the guy with the huge axe whittle down the monsters to 1 or two hit points so that she can go love tap them with her dumb pitchfork and get all that juicy experience. All the while you dream of that elusive day where she finally levels up enough to be able to withstand *gasp* two hits from an enemy. You silly, naive fool. That day will never come.
Also, I forgot to mention that sometimes the ninjas and the mages and the big-axe-guy miss.
By which I mean, the big axe guy ALWAYS. MISSES.
Oh yeah! And when a soldier dies they're dead forever. FOR-EV-ER. Sure hope you weren't too invested in that little orphan you just wasted six hours of your life training. That monster just turned her into marmalade. Hope you saved the game beforehand!
*DRINKS HEAVILY* Happy Wednesday.