You want some fries with that shake?

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

With the shakes turning greener

Apartment looks cleaner

And taxes are duuuuuuuue!

We're back with another comic upload! We've been sitting on this joke since November, but we knew the timing was everything. We had to wait until the holiest of holies was safely back under the protection of the Golden Arches.

Shamrock Shake season is similar to the Summer of Pokemon Go, I think. It's a time for rejuvenation, when you look up from the cracked, grey sidewalk and see the faces of your fellow man. You rejoice in each other's potential, and you rejoice in your own. The universe has goodness and meaning because we decree it to be so. For a fleeting, rapturous sigh, milkshakes can be more than pink, white, brown, or jamoca. My brothers and sisters, I tell you they can be green as the Connemara after a storm.

The Shamrock Shake is one of the world's great unifiers, like our incessant urge to BUM BUM BUM after we hear Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline. Adam will tell you this is not a truth universal, but do not mind the hemmings and hawings of the jaded. They just haven't had their yearly shake yet. And when they do, I tell you it will be SO GOOD. SO GOOD. SO GOOD. SO GOOD.

And in the dark days, when the world feels colder and the ice cream tastes blander, just remember that the night is always darkest before the dawn. Shammy'll come marching over that rise. If you can be sure of two things, be sure of these:

1. War never changes

2. Come March (maybe even mid February) our nation's veins will run bioluminescent green. Blissfully, artificially green.


All glory to the Hell Clown and his Golden Arches. May the shake nozzles remain polished eternal, shiny and chrome.

Witness Me,