Mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie

Welcome, one and all, to another Wednesday evening. Our fourth daily episode of The Great British Baking Show is just wrapping up. Adam's shading and filling and agonizing and rallying. I'm skyping color and garment samples to him whilst cobbling together this blog. All in a few days' work, right?

Oh, side note, we have a podcast now. Go here, if you'd like to hear us embarrass ourselves for an hour: TRICKSY WIZARD - SOUNDCLOUD

Anyway what were we talking about? Oh yeah, the comic.

This comic might hit home for all you Sims players out there. And for the very avid Animal Crossing player speaking with you now (surprise, that's me). I don't think there's really any secret why we play these life simulator games. It's the same reason I played with my dollhouse until I was, like, *mumbles something that sounds way too much like 16*. It's hard to be a kid and have basically no control over your life. Playing with toys and games that celebrate and encourage you to make every choice from your character's job, house color, eyelash length, number of virtual pizzas on the kitchen counter (it's definitely more than two) is a very freeing way to spend too many hours in your youth. It's just a game for kids, right?

Well, fast forward. Now you're 20-something. You're free to choose exactly what you'd like to do and be. And you've got your first every one-bedroom apartment! Time to swatch and paint and de-co-rate!


Actually, no. Your landlord won't let you paint. You can't afford to redecorate anyway. You make minimum wage, and Wells Fargo and Navient and Consumers and DTE and Comcast and Landlord Rob need all of your money. Quite literally all of it. You have nothing but the stuff you brought from home when you moved to college. Thank goodness your wonderful family and friends gave you money at graduation. After paying $500 or so each semester on your college textbooks you had just enough left to even buy a computer. Which is basically all you have left now that you've graduated. 

Well this blows. All this time you were waiting to be an adult to make your own choices. But now instead of your parents saying no, it's a bunch of strangers that really couldn't care less if you live or die. That's a pretty depressing way to live. If only there was a way to have unlimited money and options at your fingertips. A way to actually fulfill the empty promise of your youth, "you can be anything you want to be, Erin..." Well, you can, my child. You can have everything you ever wanted. I'll tell you the secret. Listen and watch closely:




BOOM. Now you've got a mansion.


TEN mansions.

You're an astronaut taking week-long trips to the moon every month, and you're married to an international super spy with perfect, unchanging 5 o'clock shadow. You have three children with phoenix-red hair and jade green anime eyes, and they're all in private school. You eat lobster thermidor and baked Alaska every day. You have a maid and a robot maid. You've crafted a perfectly coordinated living room with a TV the size of North Dakota. Every day is Christmas. You can be a witch if you bought that expansion pack (I always buy that expansion pack). Who cares if it's all a make believe simulation? For a shining few hours every day you can be exactly who you want to be, and you can be that somebody whilst cruising around town in an orange Lamborghini with Sasquatch riding shotgun.

And after you're burned out by the gluttonous nirvana of The Sims, you can wind down the night by clocking in at Brewster's Coffee Shop in Animal Crossing: New Leaf. The atmosphere's so relaxing, and the customers are friendly enough. It's just a part-time evening gig when you're not busy being mayor to a bunch of adorable animal citizens. What better way to relax at the end of a long day working your real job...at what is probably a coffee shop?

Yeah, sorry. We know it's another sad comic.

Love you though,